view from hamster heaven

• SBMA needs more street signs.
• From the rear, a bearcat looks like a sloth.
• The preferred brand of milk by tiger cubs in Zoobic is Cowhead.
• If the underside of the shell of a box turtle is flat, it’s a female. If it’s rounded, it’s a male.
• A female green iguana is greener than a male green iguana.
• My friend H is very interested in knowing how to distinguish gender in reptiles.
• There is such a lizard called monitor.
• The alligator snapping turtle is a creature with high level of endurance. It closes its mouth only when it has captured a prey. So if you’re a fish, never swim between its jaws.
• Don’t hold a tiger cub by its paws and tail. It tickles them.
• The Tiger Safari is a small fenced-in lot where tigers are free to lounge under trees and stare forlornly at visitors passing by in caged jeepneys.
  To draw the tigers towards the jeepneys, live chickens are tied at the legs and thrown out of the cars. Chickens are optional.
• One live chicken at Zoobic costs Php 200, while a roasted chicken at Kenny’s Roasters costs Php 199.
• When the tour guide asks for anyone who wants to pay Php 200 for the live chicken, don’t volunteer immediately. Someone else with a kid and a yaya is sure to pay for it.
• One of the tigers inside the Tiger Safari is named George.
• “Ate, ikaw magpapakain sa tiger?” the boy I was sitting next to in the caged jeepney asked me. I guess I can pass for a zookeeper. He hasn’t even seen my machete with the 12-inch blade yet.
• Don’t sit next to the guy holding the chicken. You won’t get a clear view of the tiger clomping down on the victim since you’ll be too busy trying to get a good view over his shoulders. You’ll get a good view, however, of the entrails spilling out of half of the chicken after the tiger has decapitated it.
• Drivers wipe the blood spatters off the sides of their jeepneys immediately after every messy feeding session at the Tiger Safari.
• A male tiger pees on a female to “mark” her. Going after the “marked” female tiger indicates that you’re desperate.
• There are about 30 ostriches from Australia and Africa roaming around and poking at car windows in the Savannah.
• The moon bear in the petting zoo is named Nicholas.
• Meerkats eat coffee beans.
• The cassowary bird can bash a human skull with the strange-looking wedge on its head.
• A lawin is a bird belonging to the eagle family, while a mulawin is a tree.
• The balete is a weed-like vine. It grows vertically downward and kills its host tree. When it has resided in its host tree for about 100 years, it is now called a balete tree. The balete tree is said to house elementals because the inside of the tree is hollowed out.
• Seven elephants are expected to join the zoo in January 2005.
• Gerry’s Grill now serves tuna sisig, aside from the house specialty pork sisig.

For future use:
1) Write a short copy for this picture: a black shiny luxury car in the middle of a herd of ostriches in the desert.
2) Want people to stare at you? Take a black luxury car to a field trip outside the city. Make sure you sit in the backseat. Ask the driver to stop at the main entrance of a tourist spot where people are standing around gawking. Open the door.

Too bad we didn’t put flags.
Nevertheless, I would like to thank my friend K for letting us use her car and driver.

posted by Churchill9 @ 14:01 2 comments